First Chapter
by The Writer On the Wall
Summary: When two FID officers get involved in the squad's investigation, an old flame is rekindled between Sharon and one of them, causing Andy to spit fire.
1. Part 1

**Part 1**/2

Sharon was having a sweet dream, smiling in her sleep. She couldn't remember what or who it was about, but she definitely felt the disappointment when the sound of her iPhone woke her up so rudely.

It got worse when Provenza told her she had to come to the office ASAP, because Sanchez lost his temper again, and this time, it was bad.

"Your old friends from FID are gonna be all over him soon." he said.

Sharon didn't think twice. She jumped to her feet, knowing that she must speak to him before they do, and after throwing on a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, she stormed out of the apartment. Rusty would probably assume correctly that she had to go to work, and in any case she was planning to text him an explanation of her whereabouts later, at a more decent hour, when it was not so early in the morning.

The roads were open and quiet. Nothing disturbed her but her own, fast beating heart. To her delight, she got to the office quicker than she thought she would. When she entered the murder room she immediately spotted Sanchez in the conference room with Sykes, Tao, Provenza and Flynn. They were all talking around him while he was sitting with a sealed face without looking at anyone. It seemed to Sharon like he was about to explode, although he obviously already did.

Provenza was the first one to spot her as she approached the conference room. No one from FID was in the vicinity yet and she wanted to take advantage of that situation and give Sanchez some much needed guidance.

"Captain." Provenza came out of the conference room, followed by Flynn, who closed the door behind him. The three stood together, looking worried.

"Tell me what happened and do it fast." she said quietly.

"We got a call about a dead body in Julio's neighborhood…" Provenza considered for a moment what was important for now and what wasn't. "To make a long story short, his mother's best friend was murdered… by her grandson."

Sharon shook her head in disbelief, but there wasn't time for details now.

"Whom Julio knows, of course," Andy continued the story. "He was very upset when he found out who the victim was, especially after seeing his mother all hysterical about her friend. So he confronted the suspect…" He couldn't find the words to describe what happened later.

"And?!" Sharon pushed. She had to know in order to find a way to help Sanchez.

"The suspect's in the hospital now." there was compassion in Andy's eyes as he looked at her. Sharon felt a fuzzy feeling, like a sweet dip in warm water. She could keep looking in them forever, but had to shake herself out of it. "So, now what?" he asked.

"Now I go in there and tell him what to do when FID arrive. If they get here before we're finished, do whatever you can to keep them outside the conference room." She opened the door and entered the room, asking everyone but Sanchez to leave. As she sat in front of him, he didn't move his eyes from the same spot he'd been staring at ever since she got there. She felt both sympathy and anger toward him. He looked like a child who'd done something very wrong and was now waiting for his punishment, accepting his bitter fate.

Sharon felt strong, mixed urges to hug him and slap him over the head simultaneously, but there was no time to dwell on what she was going through. Her heart skipped a bit when she saw through the glass walls that the two FID officers had entered the murder room.

"Ah, good morning, officers," Provenza said with a fake kindness, as he approached the entrance to the murder room, followed by the rest of the squad. "What can I do for you?"

"I'm Captain Eric Lane, and this is Sergeant Greg Rogers. We're from FID, we're here about Detective Julio Sanchez."

"Well… This is Lieutenant Flynn –"

"Nice to meet ya," he gave them a fake smile.

"And Lieutenant Tao –"

"Hello!"

"Detective Sykes…"

"Hi, there." she tried to smile without showing how nervous she was.

"Yes, nice meeting you all. I need to speak to Captain Raydor right now." Eric Lane knew every trick in the book, and more importantly, he knew Captain Sharon Raydor. She was instructing Detective Sanchez as they spoke and he didn't like the idea of it. No one knew the rules better than her, and those who knew the rules, knew how to bend them in their favor too.

"Wait! You haven't met our Buzz yet!" Provenza pulled Buzz' arm to get him closer to them. "He's in charge of all the techy… stuff."

"Great." Lane took a step forward but Andy rushed to block his way.

"So, you used to work with Captain Raydor?"

Lane seemed surprised by the question. "I was the head of another division inside Internal Affairs, but yes, our paths crossed many times on different investigations. Now, if you'll excuse me –"

"What was she like back then?" Sykes played along, trying to sound enthusiastic. Eric Lane's surprised expression faded at once. His face was now covered with dark clouds of indignation.

"Look, if you don't step aside and let me through, I will launch an investigation on the entire squad for –"

"There's no need to get upset," Sharon appeared behind Provenza and Flynn – whom were standing in Lane's way – and they moved aside quickly, allowing her to pass. "My detectives are just very welcoming, Eric."

"Eric?" Andy frowned. He didn't mean to say it out loud, but them being on a first name basis took him by surprise and awoke something inside of him, a stinging sensation. Sharon turned to look at him and it took her a moment of confusion before she spoke.

"That's his name." her tone was calm as usual, but a little reprimanding as well.

"Yes, it is. And if I find out that you're hiding valuable information from FID, you'll be seeing it at the bottom of a complaint."

"Who investigates Internal Affairs' complaints? Super Internal Affairs?" Tao made a little joke but no one laughed. Provenza rolled his eyes.

"You know me better than that, Eric," Sharon maintained her icy tone. There was no telling if she was amused or angry at him. Andy rolled his eyes and exhaled loudly at the sound of Lane's first name again.

"I don't know, it's been over two years since you left IA… people change. It _is_ nice to see you, though." Lane started to walk towards the conference room, intentionally rubbing his shoulder against hers as he passed by her. Rogers followed him without saying a word.

Sharon watched them until they entered the conference room and closed the door behind them.

"Now what?" Provenza asked.

"I told him not to say a word before he gets a lawyer. Anyone knows a good one?" she looked around, but no one spoke.

"I might know someone who knows someone." Tao said hesitantly.

"Well… I don't know about a _good_ lawyer, but you know _a_ lawyer… you can ask him." Provenza treaded carefully around mentioning Jackson's name.

"That's not necessary," Andy burst into the conversation. "There are tons of lawyers out there, we can –"

"Can anyone," Sharon cut him off mid-sentence, "tell me exactly what happened?"

But at that exact moment, Rogers emerged from the conference room and stood a few yards away from them. He looked around, as if very interested in the desks and chairs around the murder room, but it was obvious to everyone that he wanted to hear what they were saying.

"How about a coffee?" Provenza asked and Sharon nodded.

"Lieutenant Tao, do you think you can talk to that… someone who knows… someone?" Sharon asked quietly. He nodded and walked away to his desk. She turned back to Provenza and signaled him with her head to follow her to the break room.

Andy joined them without waiting for an invitation and Buzz returned to the electronics room. Sykes looked around in confusion for a moment and then went over to Tao's desk to help.

"Okay, now tell me what happened." the three stood at in the middle of the break room and talked in low voices.

"When we arrived at the scene… it was awful. I mean, the suspect – only 18 years old – was standing over his grandmother's body with the knife in his hand. He just stood there like a statue." Provenza started but Andy cut in.

"When Sanchez entered the room – that's when it blew up. He started yelling 'what did you do?' at the suspect. He got in his face, yelling."

"Did he hit him?"

"No… well, not at first. But then this idiot launched at him with his fist. Sanchez ducked so it wouldn't hit his face, but then –"

"Then he lost his temper. And I mean _lost_ his temper. It took three of us to restrain him. He kept hitting the guy." Provenza was notably upset remembering the situation. He was worried about Julio's future, like everyone else.

Sharon closed her eyes for a moment and shook her head. She saw it coming from miles away, why didn't she do anything? She might have been able to prevent it.

"Could you, please, inform Chief Taylor about everything? We don't want him coming here later to tell us how angry he is for not knowing about it sooner."

Provenza rolled his eyes at the thought of seeing Taylor right now, but went nonetheless, muttering 'sure'.

Andy examined her face as she was deep in thought, unaware of his gaze. He felt frustrated that she was always blaming herself for things. He wanted to put his palm on her cheek and comfort her, but instead he just moved to stand in front of her and she looked at him.

"Are you blaming yourself again?" he asked gently.

"I… I saw the signs when he previously burst out, but I didn't read them right. I should've done more than just order him to calm down. He needed help."

"He still does, especially now, so let's not waste time on blame. He didn't hit first, so that's something, right?"

Sharon nodded. That was the only ray of light in the story. She leaned against the edge of the table behind her and folded her arms.

"Good, so there's hope. Let's hang on to it and not place blame on _anyone_." He continued to look at her, waiting for her response, but she didn't say a word for a while. Suddenly, she smiled.

"What unexpected optimism on your behalf." she was pleasantly surprised.

Andy arched his eyebrows and then smiled too. He admitted inwardly that he was just as surprised by himself as she was. He was usually the impatient pessimist, but now he needed to cheer her up and it wasn't hard at all, being positive, when it was for her.

After a few seconds of staring at her, smiling, he thought she might be uncomfortable by his gaze and looked away.

"So, uh… you and this Lane guy are friends?" he tried to make it sound like a casual topic of conversation.

Sharon frowned in confusion, wondering where he was going with that question, but before she could say anything, the same person he was talking about entered the break room.

"Well?" she asked, knowing the answer in advance.

"He wouldn't talk. Says he wants a lawyer. That was your doing, of course," he stood right in front of her, causing Andy to move aside reluctantly, and she remained half sitting, half standing.

"I advised my detective to consult with a lawyer, yes. I haven't forgotten yet how the FID work."

"I should be offended," he smiled at her, "but I'm really happy to see you again, so I can't."

Sharon looked at him for a moment, trying to decide what his intentions were. His flirting wasn't anything new to her. He used to do it every time they saw each other in IA. They were both married, but she liked it because he never crossed the line. Nothing beyond the occasional compliment or a craving stare.

"How's the wife?" she asked, trying to throw him off.

"Gone," he said happily and she arched her eyebrows, smiling at his light tone. "Yeah, best thing we've ever done with our marriage."

"Congratulations, then," she said, amused.

"And how's Jack?"

"I… have no idea," she hadn't spoken to him in a while. Having him in her life was something she'd been avoiding for a long time now.

"Still married, huh?" he sounded disappointed and Sharon nodded.

Andy cleared his throat on her right, but she was focused on the man in front of her.

"So, I don't stand a chance."

"What do you mean?" she knew exactly what he meant, but this little game was fun. She couldn't remember the last time someone flirted with her like that.

"Well, what are the odds you'll agree to have a drink with me?"

"Oh, please. This is so inappropriate," Andy couldn't hold it in anymore. He felt like hitting the guy straight in the face. Sharon turned to look at him, surprised once again. He was looking at Lane, angry.

"Andy…" she started but he still wouldn't look at her. "Would you go and see if Tao has found a lawyer yet?"

Silence. Andy and Lane appeared to be having a staring match.

"Your Captain asked something," Lane said eventually. As opposed to Andy, he looked amused by their little silent battle. "You people are _very_ protective of each other."

Andy kept staring at him for a moment. Sharon thought he was about to hit him and her heart skipped a beat. There was no getting out of hitting a FID officer. But a second later, Andy left without saying a word.

Lane waited for him to get out of sight, and then waited a few seconds longer, to be sure.

"You flirt with him, too? Now I'm offended."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. I'm good at my job. And I'm great at observing interoffice relationships. The guy's head over heels for you."

Sharon snorted. "Don't be ridiculous. We're friends. That's why he's being… protective, as you said."

"_Ridiculous?_ Is it so farfetched, the idea that someone is interested in you?" he smiled at her again, squinting, knowing how embarrassed she was from that whole conversation.

Sharon gave him a little, concerned smile back. Suddenly, the weight of his words felt real, like rocks in her stomach. Could he be right? Andy and her had become much closer lately, but was it more than friendship?

"I'm not surprised, though, that you're oblivious to this," Lane continued when she didn't answer, "you were always too invested in your cases and in other people's issues to notice what was going on in your own emotional back yard. It's kinda cute, actually." He took a step towards her and she got on her feet quickly, as if she was just awoken from deep sleep in an abrupt manner.

She looked at him, frowning, without really seeing him. It all landed on her at once. Suddenly, the way Andy looked at her, the gentle way he talked to her… him always being on her side, asking for her help with personal issues… it all fell into place like pieces of a puzzle being put back together into one, perfect form. The big picture of their relationship.

"I…" finally, a sound came out of her. For a moment she feared she was too shocked to remember how to speak. "I don't have time for this right now. One of my detectives might lose his job."

"See? Putting other people's issues in front of yours."

"Captain, the lawyer Tao found is on his way," Andy rushed back into the break room and it seemed like he was very much eager to be back in there. Both Sharon and Lane stared at him, the latter with a rather amused face – knowing that he had just stirred the center of the pot that was the Major Crimes unit, which gave him a little advantage over them.

"What's going on?" Andy frowned at them.

"Nothing." Sharon and Lane said together, which made Andy understand that something was definitely up.

"I was just about to ask your Captain out once this investigation is over." Lane said, half joking, half hoping she would really consider it.

Andy had no idea whether or not he was lying, but he felt like punching him in the face in any case. Sharon didn't mind his flirting, but not with Andy around, now that she saw him in a different light.

"That's not funny." she said, avoiding Andy's eyes.

"Anyway, I need to have a little chat with Rogers before we proceed with our evil plan to ruin your lives. Excuse me." He gave Sharon one last mischievous smile before leaving the room, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"What a jerk." Andy muttered as he came closer to her.

"Wait." She sent her hand forward and he stopped abruptly.

"What's wrong?"

But Sharon couldn't move. She was suddenly overwhelmed by the need to touch him. It appeared that Lane had woken a monster inside of her.

"I – nothing. I'm just stressed, sorry." She lowered her hand and he came closer.

"You sure? I don't think I've ever seen you like this, and it's not even the worst situation we've been in." His tone was careful, hesitant.

Sharon looked away, nodding, and tried to tell herself that Lane was imagining things. She had too many issues to deal with as it was.


	2. Part 2

**Part **1/**2**

Half an hour later, Sharon was silently watching the lawyer Tao found shredding Lane's case to pieces in the conference room. Provenza was sitting opposite her on the other side of the desk, Flynn was standing behind her and Sanchez was sitting to her right. None of them said a word. John Marks was a sharp man, and they were all hypnotized, watching a show they very much enjoyed.

"Oh, please, you've got nothing here. Detective Sanchez was only defending himself. He wasn't the one who attacked first. Everyone who witnessed the incident is willing to testify to that, and that includes the patrol officers and the coroner, not just the Major Crimes squad."

"And yet, the victim is injured and in the hospital." Lane wasn't impressed, and Sharon wondered if he was capable of speaking in tones other than light and joking ones. The opposite of her.

"The _suspect_… was stupid enough to attack a trained police officer. Of course he's the injured one." Marks slammed a folder, which contained statements from various witnesses, on the desk.

"The detective could have neutralized the _victim_ with one hit. He used excessive force, there's no doubt here."

"What's undoubted is that you'll never get him fired over that. The most you'll get is a few days suspension… maybe."

Finally, Lane looked defeated. He knew that Marks was right. He was cornered. It was either putting Sanchez on trial and watching him win, or agreeing with Marks.

"Can I talk to Captain Raydor, alone?" he said, looking at Marks. The latter turned to look at Sharon, waiting for her answer.

"My Lieutenants can stay." she said quietly from her seat. Sanchez got on his feet quickly without making a sound and left the room with Marks.

"Look, Sharon… I don't mind closing the case with Detective Sanchez getting a few days suspension –"

"Gee, thanks." Andy said from behind her. Lane looked at him resentfully for a second.

"But I highly recommend you get him to see a therapist. I'm sure it wasn't the first time he exploded and it won't be the last. He might not be so lucky next time."

Sharon didn't expect him to care like that. It was sweet. She nodded in understanding with the tiniest of smiles.

"Good, I'll go break out the good news." Provenza said with his usual grumpy tone before he got up and left the room.

"Thank you, Eric," Sharon got up too, "you could've dragged this on, but you didn't."

"I have to admit that the thought crossed my mind, but it wouldn't be fair to Detective Sanchez."

Sharon frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, I shouldn't use him as an excuse if I wanna spend more time with you." There it was again, his mischievous smile.

"No, you definitely shouldn't."

"How about we spend more time together tonight? As friends, of course. I know you're married." By his tone it was clear that he couldn't care less about her marital status.

Sharon smiled, considering his offer for a moment. "Sure, why not?"

"Great!" Lane seemed relieved. "I'll call you later for the details." He grabbed the folder from the desk and winked at her as he passed her on his way to the door.

Sharon turned around to see him exiting, and met Andy's red face.

"Are you feeling alright?" For a second, she feared it might be his blood pressure again.

He looked at her with an 'Are you kidding me?' expression. "Forget about it", he said angrily and left the room too, slamming the door behind him, which made Sharon jump a little.

She rushed to follow and caught up with him in the hallway, which to her convenience was deserted so she was able to speak freely.

"Andy, what's wrong with you?" she asked behind him but he just kept on walking. Sharon grabbed his arm, causing him to stop. He looked her in the eyes in silence for a few moments before speaking.

"It doesn't matter." He moved his arm from her grip.

"It does to me."

He looked so miserable. Sharon was having a royal battle against her inner demons, trying not to give in to the desire to put his face between her palms.

"Not to me," he sounded defeated, "not anymore." And with that he left her standing in the middle of the empty hallway, cursing herself inwardly for not being brave enough to talk about their feelings towards each other.

Sharon watched him moving away from her until he walked through a door and disappeared from sight. There were so any things she'd have done a few seconds ago, if her legs weren't planted to the floor. There was a question nibbling through her heart and leaving a void in her stomach – what would his arms feel like around her?

"Damn you, Eric", she muttered to herself as she started back towards her office. His words broke a heavy dam in her and now all those feelings and crazy thoughts she's been ignoring so very well were flooding every inch of her being.

She sat at her desk, wondering if what Eric said was even true. But how could it not be, with the way Andy had just acted, after witnessing Sharon agreeing to meet with Eric after hours? He was a fun person to be around, but she didn't even mean anything by it. After all, she was still a married woman, even if only technically.

The word 'divorce' flashed in her mind. 'Yes, definitely something I should've done ages ago.' she thought, shaking her head.

(***)

"Are you sure it's okay with you if I go to this chess club?" Rusty stopped by the kitchen before leaving, where Sharon was sitting with her laptop, staring blankly at the screen.

"Of course it's okay," she smiled at him.

"You don't mind spending Friday night on your own? I might be really late." He looked at her, unsure, and she thought he was being adorable, caring like that. Of course, she kept that thought to herself.

"I spent many Fridays on my own before you came into my life. It's fine."

The truth was, Eric had called her three times now, but she hadn't returned any of his calls yet. She couldn't stop thinking about Andy. The hurt in his eyes when he looked at her in that hallway… it felt like actual pain in her stomach. Hurting him was the last thing she wanted. _Was he really that interested in her?_

"Okay… see you later. Or in the morning, if you're already asleep when I get back." Rusty waited for Sharon's last approval, which came in the form of a fake-cheerful 'have fun', before he left.

The apartment was way too quiet for Sharon. She usually enjoyed silence, but it was now screaming in her head louder than any noise.

"Maybe I should go clarify things," she muttered, speaking to herself. "I wouldn't want _Andy_ to spend the weekend angry or offended." His name felt softer than ever on her lips. "Yes! I definitely should!" She got on her feet with determination, "Before I completely lose my mind and make it a habit talking to myself." She grabbed her purse and rushed out of the apartment.

Andy's place wasn't too far from her apartment, but the ride felt very long. Sharon realized she was eager to see him and that she was acting like a crazy person without thinking things through. The feeling of acting on her emotions was unfamiliar to her. She usually over-thought everything.

_What if he's not even there? Why didn't I call first? God, I'm an idiot. Oh, That's his word. _She chuckled to thoughts were all over the place from stress.

When she finally reached his door, she stood in front of it, frozen. It wasn't the first time she was at his place, but this time it wasn't exactly a friendly visit. It was much more than that.

The door opened so suddenly that Sharon gasped and forgot to continue breathing for a while, as Andy looked at her with surprise or even shock on his face. There was a garbage bag in his hand, which he forgot about the second he saw Sharon.

"Wh-what are you doing here?" he stuttered.

It wasn't such an easy question. What could she say that wasn't a lie but wasn't the direct truth?

Sharon cleared her throat and felt a little braver. "I came to talk about… what happened today. You made it very clear that you were angry when you went home without saying goodbye."

Andy looked uncomfortable. He knew that his behavior was childish and rather foolish. He couldn't expect anything other than friendship from Sharon. She owed him nothing. If anything, he owed _her_ for helping him every time he asked.

"I know. I'm an idiot. I'm sorry." His voice was soft and low. Definitely not what Sharon was expecting. She prepared herself to try and calm him down, but he wasn't in a war mood at all and she was grateful for it. Not just because she didn't want to fight with him, but also because it meant that his behavior earlier was a momentary lapse. She didn't think he was the kind of man to usually make a scene, and she was happy to know she was right.

"Oh. That's alright. It was just very… unusual." She felt like a huge weight was lifted from her chest.

"Yeah, when I got home and had some time to think about it… I even surprised myself." Andy could barely look her in the eyes. He couldn't remember the last time he was so embarrassed. "I don't know what's gotten into me."

Sharon nodded and, feeling how uncomfortable he was, tried to give him a sympathetic look. She realized there was still something bothering her. Not all the weight was gone. There was still quite a heavy concern in her stomach. A concern that wasn't derived from the way he behaved earlier, but from the reason _why_ he acted as he did. Was Eric right? Did Andy really have meaningful feelings for her? And if so, did he really expect her – a married woman and his boss – to just throw all caution to the wind and be with him?

"I hope you know…" she started, not sure how, or whether she even wanted, to let him down easy, "that I don't want to lose you as a friend."

"You won't," he exhaled, looking tired and gloomy.

To someone overhearing their conversation, Andy's words might have sounded like he was assuring her his friendship forever. But Sharon knew exactly what he meant between the lines, where the unspoken words lurked behind the obvious: she won't lose him as a friend even if they got involved romantically.

"Because… your friendship is very dear to me," she continued, ignoring his words.

"You're very dear to me, too."

There he was, doing it again, putting deep meaning behind the spoken words. It was only then that Sharon realized there was a fine line between anger and passion.

She stared at him absent-mindedly, thinking about what she should say.

"Andy…" she stated, but then something warm engulfed her fingers. She looked down to her right hand and felt her heart racing when she saw his hand holding hers. As she looked back up he came half a step closer to her, not leaving much empty space between them.

"I've known, for a while now… I just didn't know how intensely until today." He didn't look as intimidated as she was by their proximity.

Sharon admired the way he knew how to say everything without actually saying it, leaving her with a thirst to know the exact meaning of his words. They were so close now, she could feel his body heat… or was she just craving it?

He swayed a little and for a moment she thought he was getting even closer to her. She put her left hand on his shoulder to stop him, without realizing it would have the opposite effect, Andy grabbing the opportunity and putting his free hand on her waist.

Sharon watched his face getting closer to hers like slow motion. An artificial light somewhere behind him made the whole thing look divine. She couldn't bring herself to stop him. There was nothing on her mind in that particular moment, but the need for his mouth to finish its celestial orbit in a collision with her longing, parted lips. And when it happened, she closed her eyes and saw the stars and the moon and the entire galaxy. The most beautiful vision she'd ever seen.

Andy let go of her hand and wrapped both his arms around her waist as his lips moved smoothly against hers. He felt her now free hand creeping up his upper arm and stopping at the shoulder. There was still a slight gap between their chests, a demonstration of Sharon's hesitation. She wasn't 100% in the kiss, though her mouth was co-operating fully with him.

The way this specific physical contact made them feel was everything they thought it would be, maybe even more. There was no possible way to describe this dazzling, swirling sensation – which both had been trying to imagine. Andy for much longer than Sharon.

For a second, Andy felt Sharon's torso make contact with his chest, but before he was able to embrace that new feeling – the feeling of her complete devotion to the kiss – she moved backwards in a quick, sharp movement, mumbling the word 'wait' several times. She looked at him, scared and confused. He wanted to hug her, but she moved away so firmly, that he lost his confidence.

"I can't do this. I'm a married woman."

"Only technically." He wasn't sure it was the right thing to say, but she didn't look upset by it.

"But still."

"So… that's it?" He didn't want to believe they could never have a chance at this.

"I… can I come in?" She suddenly realized they were still in the threshold.

"Yeah, of course," he moved aside and let her in. She walked a few steps into the house and he closed the door, appreciating her form with a quick glance from her back down to her legs and back up, right when she turned to him.

Andy motioned with his hand to let her through first and then followed her to the couch. She sat down right in the middle and, once again, he didn't leave much space between them when he joined her.

Sharon was on the edge of the seat, elbows leaning on her thighs like she was ready to jump up if necessary, and looked at him. She would've much preferred leaning back with him, possibly with his arm around her shoulders, but it wasn't possible.

"I've been thinking a lot lately… about Rusty," she started.

"Rusty?" Andy felt the disappointment like cement in his stomach. He thought she was going to talk about _them_.

"Yes. I've been thinking about… adoption."

"Wow." He didn't expect that.

"And if I want to do that… Jackson's going to be a problem." She saw his face twitch a little at the sound of her husband's name.

"What are you gonna do, then?" He was curious to know where she was going with this conversation.

"I think… I want to get…" She didn't realize how hard it would be, saying it out loud, until now. "I want to get a divorce." Her voice was lower than usual and she looked away from his eyes. If she hadn't done that, she would have seen the hopeful spark rekindling in them.

"That's great!"

She looked back at him, frowning.

"I-I mean, not that… it's great that you'll be able to adopt Rusty."

A weary smile appeared on her lips for a moment. She knew what the real reason for his happiness was, but she didn't say anything about it.

"It'll probably take time. I don't see Jackson liking the idea."

"Right. Well, from what you've told me, there's nothing legally binding you to him, except for the actual marriage. No finances, no underage kids… having divorced once myself and having seen Provenza going through all of his four divorces, I can tell you that it shouldn't take too long. Even if he refuses to sign the papers… probably a few months."

"Yes." She waited to see the disappointment on his face again, but the light stayed in his eyes. It gave him the look of an eager boy.

"When that finally happens, will you consider…"

She looked at him, waiting for him to speak, but he wanted her to figure the last word on her own.

Sharon squinted, unsure. "What?"

"Us." The eagerness wasn't just in his eyes anymore. It also spread to his voice.

She didn't answer right away, as she thought about how unfair the situation would be for him.

"I can't ask you to wait for who knows how long," she said in an almost whisper, unable to bring her voice up. After that kiss, letting him go wouldn't be easy at all.

"You don't need to ask."

"Andy… I'm not going to tie you down."

"I'm well aware of that."

"I can't be responsible for you missing out on… things." She couldn't bring herself to say 'the opportunity to find love'.

"I won't."

The mere thought of him finding love with some random woman made her sick, but she forced herself to speak. "Feel free to… date anyone you want."

"I _don't_ want."

"Stop it."

"What?" he chuckled.

"Those determined one liners."

"Sharon –"

"You're stating facts that might not be relevant in a few –"

"Sharon."

"What?"

"I'm going to wait. And I'm going to be patient and respect whatever decisions you make along the way. And when you're finally free, I'm going to be _so_ happy," he smiled.

Sharon examined his face. His mouth, his eyes – they seemed honest, correlated with his words.

"Why?"

"Because…" he hesitated, trying to find the right words to express what he was feeling, "I'm never going to find another woman like you.

Sharon closed her eyes for a few seconds, fighting the need to bury her face in his neck.

"I don't even know why you'd wanna be with a mess like me, but I'll take it without asking questions," he smiled bitterly.

"Are you serious?" She couldn't believe he was so unaware of himself, but he just nodded like an unsure child. She took his hand in hers. "There's so much good in you, how can you not see it?"

"Maybe I'm blinded by you," his tone was so soft and inviting.

"Okay, I should go." Sharon hopped on her feet, hoping she'd manage to leave before giving in to the temptation of kissing him again. It wouldn't be an easy task, resisting it.

Andy got up too. They were standing in front of each other, confined between the couch and the coffee table.

"Did I say something wrong?" Her sudden rush to leave took him by surprise, planting fear in his heart. The last thing he wanted was to offend her.

"No… but that's the problem," she smiled, and it wasn't a happy smile. "I don't want to do something that's against my beliefs and hate myself afterwards. And I also don't want to hate myself for past mistakes… for waiting so long to free myself," her voice was so low now, that Andy suspected she was going to cry. "And you're not making it easier for me." She swallowed hard and he knew that she was fighting back the tears. She looked so frustrated and he wanted to take her in his arms, caress her hair and tell her that everything was going to be alright.

"Okay, I'll do what I can to make it as easy as possible. From now on, I'm not gonna mention… _us_, until you're ready for it. Sound good?"

Sharon smiled again at his lack of understanding. Him being so good to her was exactly why it was so hard for her to walk away. She needed him to stop treating her like that at the moment, but she couldn't see a way to say 'stop treating me nicely' without sounding like a crazy person.

"Sure," she said eventually and he nodded before moving a few steps back so she can pass him and go to the door.

Sharon didn't look at him as she walked by him, thinking that it'd be easier that way, but a wave of odor from his cologne reached her nose and it was intoxicatingly good. She figured that holding her breath all the way to the door would be much better than allowing him to take over her lungs. As she moved away from him, she felt a relief.

"I'll see you on Monday," she gave him one last smile before opening the door.

"Good night," he said from his spot near the couch, knowing that it wouldn't be her last visit to his apartment.

And with that, Sharon stepped outside and closed the door behind her. She took a deep breath, feeling the fresh, cool air of the night replacing Andy's scent, filling her lungs with excitement. She was about to open a new chapter in her life, and she had a feeling she was going to enjoy it.

* * *

*A sequel is being written, so stay tuned :)


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